Sex on Queen’s lawn at Windsor Castle

A couple were arrested in the grounds of Windsor castle after they were caught having sexual intercourse on the lawn of Windsor castle in full view of many people. To make it worse, the Queen was in residence at the time, although her “boudoir” is on the other side so hopefully she wasn’t aware of the little “show” outside. A pair of Japanese tourists filmed the scene for 20 minutes before the couple were arrested, and many soldiers were watching from the windows. Across the street, many people could see the scene from cars, shops and the street. It attracted quite an audience.  

Now these people weren’t making a political statement, they weren’t angry at the Queen, they weren’t looking for anything out of it, they simply got carried away. Despite the people watching, commenting and even filming, the two did not stop. They only stopped when they were confronted with two armed police officers who arrived in range rovers to separate the couple and remove them from the premises. The two were arrested and made to spend the night in jail for their actions.

What a great crime. Imagine talking about that in jail. When everyone says what they did, one man is a murderer, you’ve got a couple of thieves, a vandal, and maybe a druggie or two. “What did you do?”, they’ll ask. “We had sex in the Queen’s garden.” THAT, my friends, is a great answer. 

Brawling Brit

I don’t know if any of you have ever experienced living in a completely foreign country like me, but if you have, you might know what i’m talking about. I live in South Korea. Yet its not the Korean-ness or American-ness (for lack of a better word) of the country that makes me feel foreign, its not the fact that i am one of the only white faces in the corridor, no. It is the fact that i am the only true Brit. Once you have explained the meaning of “bugger” for the upteenth time, you start to realise that these people will never really understand you.

Although its handy occasionally to have this difference, you never get in trouble at school when you use a british swear word because no one knows what the hell you’re talking about, it’s still annoying to have to repeat yourself a million times a day because you call it an optician not an optometrist or you ask to go to the loo not the bathroom. The biggest difficulty i had was when i tripped on the stairs and said loudly, “Bollocks!” The session of explination that had to go on after that was uncomfortable.

It’s frustrating to see, the red marks accross your page after you hand in your english essay. The teacher has kindly marked out your “spelling mistakes” which aren’t really spelling mistakes. The times when you write a “u” in colour, or in neighbour. The music is different, the sense of humour is different. My use if sarcasm was definitly odd to the others at first.

Even our tempers are different. The very basis of our personality is different to the American personality. I’m not going to lie, i can’t wait to get back to England. I miss it so much, the people, the places, the food, the accent, even the bloody Queen, but it has been nice to be a minority. And i know that as soon as i go back, i won’t be able to get away with saying “bloody hell” or “bollocks” without a teacher being annoyed.