Now this is mainly aimed at the girls, but guys if you are interested, i’m not here to judge. How many of you eat chocolate when you’re down? Or watch a sad movie? Or lay on the couch feeling sorry for yourself? All of us do it. And it works doesn’t it? Well, it works until the next day when you wake up feeling fat because you stuffed your face with Ben and Jerry’s and chocolate last night, and feeling even worse because you keep asking yourself why you can’t find a guy like Jack from Titanic. Chocolate is a form of punishment, it’s a predator really. It looks good, it tastes good, it lures you in when you are most vulnerable, and then it STRIKES when your guard is down causing you to have to spend the next three weeks dieting and doing crunches while you watch Oprah to try and stimulate your life again. And yet, even though we know this, we still succumb to chocolate. We still lay and watch the weepy films and eat the pint of ice cream. And why? Because it works. Despite the fact that we know we will wake up the next morning feeling slightly sick, it’s SO worth it at the time.
The evil saint...
There are other things too, things that were sent to trick women into loving them. High heels. High heels must have been invented by a man, I mean, come on! They are painful, restricting, and god damn beautiful. They make you look taller, make your feet more dainty, they look good with EVERYTHING. They are basically genius, except for the fact that they hurt like hell on earth. And no matter how many times you wear them, your feet never get used to them. But we still wear them repeating the same outdated, unfair phrase in our head as we block out the pain pooling in the balls of our feet, “pain is beauty, pain is beauty, pain is beauty…”.
Liquid eyeliner… It takes YEARS to put on, and you stab yourself in the eye a hundred times before it finally goes on in a wiggly line. After several attempts, a vaguely acceptable line appears over your eyelid that is almost completely shrouded by the puffy red eye surrounding it. Its difficult, but when it’s finally on, it looks gorgeous. It’s so worth it.
Now, i’m not saying that we shouldn’t use them. I do this stuff too, every girl does. It’s just important to know about all of the down sides. Yet, even while knowing these down sides, we don’t care. I certainly don’t.
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